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What One Mom Really Thought About “Abigail: The Belle of Bravery”

 

As a mom, my biggest hope for The Adventures of Rooney Cruz is to help moms feel comfortable talking about what real beauty is and the special gifts God gave each of us that help us walk in that beauty. Joy is a mama–just like you and just like me. She gave us her thoughts on “Abigail: The Belle of Bravery”, and we thought that you might like to see it too. What we hand our kids for entertainment is a dangerous game we all play as moms, but maybe this will help the next time you go to reach for a book off the shelf before bedtime:

 

Last October 29th, my 5-year old daughter and I were given a privilege to be part of the Belle Brigade and launch team of “Abigail” The Belle of Bravery”. Although I already knew Abigail’s story beforehand, I was still excited to read it to my daughter. When I showed the e-book cover to my daughter, she was ecstatic! She couldn’t wait for us to read the story. She was like, “Mommy, read the story now, please! Mommy, please!”  She couldn’t hide her excitement!
So, I began reading the story. At first, I was having doubts my daughter would soon get bored and say, “Let’s just finish it later, Mom.” It seemed that she very much liked the story that we were able to finish reading it in one seating. She enjoyed looking at the illustrations. As I read and she listened, she would look for the pictures and once in a while ask me, “Mom, is this it?” And when I was done reading, she asked me to scroll back to the photos that she would like to look at again.
I asked her which part of the story she liked best. She showed me the page where Rooney was praying after Mari showed her what Abigail did when faced with a circumstance. She also liked the page that followed wherein Rooney decided to follow Abigail’s example. I believe my daughter got the message, for when I asked her some questions, she was quick to respond and answer my questions sincerely and correctly. She was even begging me to read it again, haha! And then she asked me if we could buy a copy from our local bookstore. She told me she wants us to read it again and again. She was like, “Can we read it again later, Mom? Can we, please? Can we go to the bookstore and buy it, Mom? Please Mommy?”
After reading the story, I asked her, “Did you like the story?” She said, “Yes, Mommy! It’s a nice story! I like Rooney, Mom. She’s brave and kind. I also like to have a bell.” Also she was honest enough to tell me, “It’s just a long story, Mom. I felt like I would fall asleep. But it’s a nice story. I really like it. I want to be like Rooney.” Then I asked her, “What is bravery to you?” Then she was like, “Bravery? What is bravery?” I told her bravery means being brave. So I rephrased the question, “What does being brave mean to you? What do you think it is?” And she answered, ‘I’m brave when Jesus is with me and watching over me. Being brave means you’re not afraid to do what is right.” “Just like Rooney and Abigail?” I asked. “Yes, Mom,” she replied.
I believe this is a good material or reference to use to teach every parent’s daughters about bravery. The illustrations are attractive; the message is simple, sound and Scripture-based (biblical). Depending on the attention span of the child, the story should be read for as long as she likes it. Perhaps incorporate an activity or two to reinforce the lesson, in this case, Bravery, the parents want to instill in their children’s hearts.
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Female Heroes of Color: Moriah Peters

When I think Moriah Peters, I think brave.

This is a girl who’s stood up in the face of culture and pursued God’s kingdom instead.She is constantly, unapologetically after His heart and we just think she embodies what it means to make #ADifferentKindOfNoise. Check out some of her lyrics from her new song, Brave:

I know I know I’m no superwoman

But impossible is possible with You

So no, no, no more running, no more hiding

Strike the fire so I’ll be fearless too

And make me

Brave

I’ll fight like a soldier

Brave

Rise like a warrior

Brave

Won’t stop till the final day

Brave

I want to be stronger

Brave

Gonna be bolder

Brave

Look up and I see the way

You make me brave

I mean, come on! This girl is a real hero and we were so excited to be able to catch up with her and ask her a few of our burning questions!

1.) What does it mean to be brave?

In order to be BRAVE, you have to be afraid and in order to be afraid you have to risk! I believe we were created to do the things that seem daunting and impossible. It’s in the moments that scare us most that we find rescue.

 

2.) Why is it important that we highlight heroes of color?

Well, I don’t think there’s such a thing as a woman without color. Even the fairest of complexions have a blend of beautiful and subtle shades. Funnily enough, white light happens to be the presence of every color at once! I think that says something about celebrating our differences as equally important. Although our families or neighborhoods may be filled with people who look the same, the world is a mixture of every shape, size and color. Whenever I meet someone who speaks, looks or acts differently than I do, I see it as an opportunity to be inspired by new ways of being brave!

 

3.) Growing up, who was your hero and why?

I’ve had several different heroes throughout my 24 years of life. As a little girl, I always looked up to my dad. I wanted to be as intelligent, funny and musical as him. In a lot of ways, I do believe I reflect him in what I believe and how I speak and I couldn’t be happier to be a reflection of him. As an adult, I look to women who are making change and causing waves in the worlds of fashion, art and politics. Women behind movements like He for She, The Giving Keys and Darling Magazine. The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized that there will never be a single person whom we agree with completely but there is always something we can agree on with anybody.

 

4.) What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done?

The bravest things I’ve done have always involved leaving a comfortable situation. I was ready to be a full time student when I had my first offers as a recording artist in Nashville. It was terrifying to leave my family, friends and life in California to pursue a dream in Tennessee, but I’m so happy I did it! In a similar way, allowing myself to fall in love at 20 years old was something I was so afraid of but my life has been richer and I’ve felt stronger since marrying my husband, Joel.

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Female Heroes of Color: Kellee Dawkins

Photo by Temi Coker
Kellee Dawkins is a business owner, wife, and creator of the #AndMeCampaign (we stalked her until we could ask her to include the women of the HEARD series, which she cleverly named the #AndMeTooCampaign. So. Stinkin’. Cute.). Kellee is a wedding and event planner who started a company with her husband called Fight For Joy, where their mission is to create a culture of fighting for joy, and their vision is to see couples fighting for joy in the Lord, in their marriage, and for the benefit of others. Kellee leads with her values and is faithful to the Lord in her gifts and talents–a true hero in our eyes. We got to ask Kellee a couple questions about bravery, and she gave us some powerful and insightful answers, take a look:
1.) What does it mean to be brave?
I believe being brave means standing in the knowledge of who we are. We can be brave women and girls because of the victory we have in Christ Jesus! It does not mean that we won’t experience fear in the face of difficult decisions or less than savory circumstances, but that we can charge ahead knowing the Lord is with us.
2.) Why is it important that we highlight heroes of color?
As a woman of color, it has always been important to see people that look like me thriving in their God-given gifts and abilities. It reminds me that despite what social constructs and other man-made institutions say, my Creator made no mistake in my design. I too am capable of living a life sold out for His glory! It is such a powerful statement to young girls of color and their counterparts to see a wide variety of heroes within their own communities and portrayed in the media they intake. A glimpse of heaven on earth starts with how we educate our children about who they are in Christ and how that impacts their worldview – one that lends itself to the hard work of racial reconciliation and true kinsmanship.
3.) Growing up, who was your hero and why?
The matriarchs in my family, specifically my grandmothers. Both my maternal and paternal grandmothers were such sweet spirits. I watched them give of themselves tirelessly even when it wasn’t convenient to do so. I learned poise and grace from them but most importantly I learned to do hard things because it was the right(eous) thing to do.
4.) What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done? 
Follow Christ and allow my new identity in Him to shape how I interact with the world around me. The scripture says, “If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” (John 15:19)
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Female Heroes of Color: Arielle Estoria

 

Our #femaleheroesofcolor week continues with Arielle Estoria ! Arielle is a wildly gifted Spoken Word Artist, Author, Speaker, and Blogger. The heartbeat behind her work is a diligent pursuit of instilling and reminding ​people​ of their worth through words. She is faithfully and diligently using her gifts to pursue God’s kingdom & in our opinion, she’s killin’ it.

We got to have a little Q&A with her earlier today and if it’s possible, we fell in love with her even more. Have a look at her thoughtful answers:

1.) What does it mean to be brave?

That moment when you’re absolutely terrified, but you in look fear in the face and do it anyway. That’s bravery. When you decide that not doing whatever it is that scares you would be way worse than actually doing it. You know that moment when the Lioness in you roars a little louder? That’s bravery.

 

2.) Why is it important that we highlight heroes of color?

Because there’s a little black girl, asian girl, middle eastern girl and hundreds of other girls who wants to be able to look up and say “That could be me too.”

We want to give our daughters the opportunity to relate to women and leaders who are doing AMAZING things in this world and not so that they can feel inferior but so that they could think that they could accomplish that. Also why WOULDN’T we highlight heroes of color?!  The diversity in leadership is what makes it all so great—we can’t be led by all the same people because we’re not all the same person.

 

3.) Growing up, who was your hero and why?
My Mom—-and Adele.

My mom because well duh she’s my mother and I just think that every girl should have a strong female presence in their lives who urges them to dream bigger, to look past the girl they see in a mirror, to remind them of their identity in CHRIST but also know how to love you better than anyone else.

And Adele because she was a woman who believes in the power of her voice and the beauty that she has to offer in the world and didn’t let society tell her that she had to look differently–she embraced her curves and helped me to do the same. She also reminded me that it was okay to be a bleeding heart type feeler and that it wasn’t a weak thing but a strong thing.

 

4.) What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done?

Let God have control over my pretty perfect plans and actually show up in my life. He changed the script a whole lot but it was much better than anything I could have written!

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3 Things Her Report Card Doesn’t Tell You

Rooney isn’t old enough to come home with a report card just yet, but I’ve been dealing with report cards for most of my life.

Whether they were tucked inside official-looking envelopes addressed to my mom and dad, the paperless competition with other girls I was tracking in my head, or the legal-size paper I passed across the table to my students’ parents during mid-term conferences, since I was a little girl I’ve personally always put a lot of emphasis on scores.

It’s not that report cards are bad, but sometimes we can get too caught up in the cumulative, weighted GPA. Sometimes I think we use report cards more than we use God’s word to help our children understand what being a person of value looks like. We leave God’s truth out of the conversation about A’s and F’s and inevitably point our children to a performance-based sense of self-worth.

What’s true though? The truth is we need constant reminders that, because of Jesus, our verdict has already been issued. That verdict says that we are redeemed, worthy, and valuable. It’s not our work that makes us worth: we are worthy because He loves us. Here are three ways to approach your little belle when she’s feeling the pressure of her work being measured and weighted.

It’s not our work that makes us worthy: we are worthy because He loves us.

1. It Doesn’t Tell Us The Meaning of Her Life

School is for everyone, but it is not everything. We all have a brain, and that brain is wired to learn. Being knowledgeable can be exhilarating, especially when it makes you feel important. But knowledge and intellect cannot be our heart’s most treasured pursuit. Knowledge and intellect cannot wipe us clean and make us new, only Jesus can do that.

2. It Doesn’t Tell Us Who She Is.

As a teacher, I can tell you there is no excuse for bad grades. But far from telling me that a student is worthless, a bad grade can only tell me that a student is perhaps spending too much time watching television, or maybe has too busy of an after school schedule. A child’s grades are indeed telling us something, but the story they’re telling is more about the child’s habits than anything else. Remember, all humans have inherent worth and value being made in the image of God. Remind her that nothing she can do can ever take that away.

3. It Doesn’t Tell Us If She’s Valuable.

Her grades will offer the first lessons she’ll learn in economy. Often times she’ll find that she can trade good grades for trust, favor, and opportunity. She’ll translate these lessons as proof that she is a recipient worthy of people’s approval because of what those grades say about her. But as we’ve already discussed, the only one qualified to speak on behalf of your daughter’s identity is God. The work that He’s done to bring her life meaning and measurable value was already done on the cross.

The only one qualified to speak on behalf of your daughter’s identity is God.

We have a responsibility as mothers to teach our girls that that we don’t do good to get God’s love. We get God’s love, and that propels us to do good. Grades are important, but we have to be careful not to put so much emphasis on our children’s grades that they think their report card is the thing that trumps all. It’s not their homework; it’s their heart that matters. And it’s only when they’re so filled up with identity, love and approval that they’ll strive to be good students out of an overflow of acceptance instead of a lack of it.

 

We don’t do good to get God’s love. We get God’s love and that propels us to do good.

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3 Ways to Teach Grace to Your Kids

 

We’ve all seen it. The individual who gets shamed by cyber bullies because they’ve made a mistake. Maybe it was a big mistake. Maybe it was a small oversight. Whatever the fault, our culture seems to have given us the green light to teach these people a lesson. Nowadays, it feels normal to leave our disdain all over the comments section, and forget that these are human beings made in the image of God who are just as guilty as we are.

With the rise of social media, public shaming has reached terrifying new heights. So how do we teach our daughters to extend grace to people when the rest of the world takes pleasure in berating them? Here are three steps we need to take now to make sure that anonymity is not a temptation for our girls to join in on the condemnation:

1.) Tell her about sin: Sometimes as moms, we want to shy away from this, but that’s not helpful. When we do that, we make Jesus too small for the real world and let our girls think they have the right to judge someone else according to their own standards. Instead, step into the uncomfortable conversations about the darkness that lives in us all.
2.) Tell her about God’s gift: We can only extend grace when we’ve been shown extensive grace. When we preach the gospel to our girls, it changes their hearts and makes them more like Him. When we show our daughters God’s forgiveness despite the unspeakable treason we’ve committed against Him, it softens their hearts toward others.

3.) Show her your mistakes: As women, this is hard, but it has to be done. When we show our girls our jagged edges and ask forgiveness for our sin in front of them, it changes the way they look at mistakes, and shows them the depths of grace unending. It makes sin, and God’s forgiveness all the more real, and helps them to understand that we can be mistake-makers and be redeemed all at the same time.

Culture tells us that punishing people is appropriate–that they’re getting what they deserve. But as Christians we know that if we all got what we deserved, we would be eternally separated from our Father. We must show the world grace because we know what it’s like to be shown grace.
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I Quit!

If I’m being honest, I have to say that I didn’t spend a lot of my time early in life thinking about or caring about what God had planned for me.  I was distracted and selfish and driven to do only what I wanted to do. I didn’t have a real relationship with God, so I never asked Him what He wanted for me, what He had dreamed up before I was born. I was too busy trying to pass myself off as a strong, successful somebody, and all those truths, the ones that matter, were easy to ignore.

“How confused you are about your life,” God whispered to me, so many times I’m sure. I didn’t hear him. I was too busy listening to what this world had to tell me.

“You are on a path to a place far away from where I want you,” He continued. “You’re running toward a place where the seed I planted in you cannot grow. You think you know better than I do. You think I don’t exist. Just wait. I will reveal myself to you in a way that will be sure to get your attention.”

And He did. Eight years ago, God put something in my way that was impossible for someone like me to ignore. When I talk about it, I tell people it was a “violent shove,” and it was. Cancer. Metastasized cancer. Neck. Throat. Chest. Brain stem. That was eight years ago. I was 26.

I never expected to be told I had cancer. I don’t think I can effectively express how devastating this news was for someone like me. I won’t even try, except to say that everything ached. Places the cancer was and places it wasn’t. My entire body ached, under the weight of the news and what I thought was a life that was over. I was lost and confused. How could this be happening? Am I going to die? Oh God, I’m going to die.

Then I felt a little tap. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was God. There was that violent shove, then that gentle tap. “This happened because what you’re doing is not what I had planned for you,” He said. “You are supposed to be doing something else. So, welcome to your life: your real one, the one that’s lived with me by your side. Grab hold of that life and see what happens.”

I can’t really explain why I knew in the days after my first diagnosis that God was telling me to become a teacher. I just knew. I was laid up in bed, and I had time to think about what I was really doing on this earth. I decided I wouldn’t waste any more time doing something out of alignment with His plan and purpose for me. I honestly didn’t think I had that much time. It was cancer. It had spread, and we didn’t exactly catch it early.

I enrolled in a teaching program and was in the classroom the following year. I’ve spent the last eight years of my life planning and prepping lessons, searching for tools and resources, stories and poetry that would touch my students’ hearts and minds in such a way that they would find value in the time we spent together and take these lessons with them into new adventures. I’ve poured my heart and soul into this job, these kids, this work. I’ve done the absolute best I could do for eight years.

And now, it’s over.

I quit.

June 10 was my last day of work as a teacher. No students. Their last day was June 8, and I had two days without them to pack up my classroom and say goodbye. I spent the day mostly alone, cleaning shelves, stacking chairs, and loading the last eight years of my school life into a box. Well, a few boxes. I had a lot of stuff in there.

I quit. I quit because there’s something new that He’s asked me to do. He’s asked me to step out in faith and pursue a new calling. I know it’s a calling because my body experiences that very same aching I felt eight years ago when I got sick, only now it’s for a different reason. That aching for me happens when I think about the next generation of girls: a generation of girls who are suffering and breaking under the weight of this world. A generation of girls who are unable to step into the life that God has planned for them; they can’t do it because they’re distracted, like I was, by this world’s jacked up definition of beauty and success. We need to help them realize the truth sooner, before the lies the world tells them creep in and do their damage. It’s time to do something about it.

So I quit, because God is calling me to spend the rest of my time here doing something about it. I don’t know what’s on the other side of this decision, but I know who’s on the other side of it. He is, God is, and I’m stepping out because He’s asked me to step out.

I quit. I’m ready. Let’s do this.

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Who Are The Bible Belles | Deborah: The Belle of Leadership

“The wisdom to know what needs to be done and to stir action in ourselves and others toward a goal is essential to finding and carrying out God’s plan and purpose for each of our lives.”

 

When I was younger, I thought leaders were leaders because they were loud, because they didn’t listen to anyone, and because they had an agenda that always prevailed despite the hurt feelings, the lost friendships, and the new enemies. I used to marvel at those types of women because they didn’t care about anyone else, they just did their thing. I used to think that was a sign of strength, but the thing about true leadership is that you have to care about everyone else, because leadership isn’t a royal regime, it’s the life of a servant.
Deborah was a true leader. As one of the judges who was in charge of seeing justice through to her community, Deborah led by following God. She led by consulting with and listening for Him, being brave enough to follow His call and by being faithful to wherever He had placed her. Deborah was a servant, which is why God called her to lead.

 

Whether she was presiding over matters in the community, or riding off into battle in an army of 10,000 men, Deborah was a leader no matter where she went because she was always leaving breadcrumbs of the wisdom and knowledge of God to those who were coming up behind her. It wasn’t Deborah’s strength that she depended on to stir her comrades and neighbors into action, it was God’s strength.

Today, we can still follow Deborah’s example. She is the Belle of Leadership because she understood what it meant to be a leader. She understood that it was only through full submission to our good, faithful and all-knowing Father that she might be able to help point her friends and neighbors in the right direction. And isn’t that the point? Isn’t the point to stop depending on ourselves like we know the way and instead point ourselves and our friends to the guy who does?

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Who Are The Bible Belles | Ruth: The Belle of Loyalty

 

“A life lived in kindness toward others is part of God’s special purpose for all of us. Self-sacrifice and putting the feelings and needs of others before our own are meaningful ways we can show real love.”

It’s easy to be mean. Well, it was for me. Once I learned that I could come off as strong and independent simply by putting others down, I found creative ways to do it. Sometimes, it was subtle; I walked with my nose in the air and threw snide comments around. Other times, it was direct. Every time, it was harsh, unnecessary, and damaging, to others and to myself. For a while, it was a choice. Then, it became part of a forged identity. Much more than simply a tough habit to break.

Today, true friendship is a rare commodity. It’s not every day that you find someone who is both genuine and kind. Ruth was both.

She is The Belle Of Loyalty, and she represents what true friendship is: a gentle heart that offers help and support when it’s needed. Not because it’s convenient, not because you have something to gain, but because your heart perceives a need and is there to meet it.

That’s what Ruth did. Naomi was her family, and she was faithful in this friendship. “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” (Ruth 1:16).

May the next generation of girls follow her example. May friendship and faith become more than habits. May they be sewn into the very fabric of their identity.

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Who Are The Bible Belles | Abigail: The Belle of Bravery

 

“In life, we face tough times and scary situations. We can’t avoid them, but we can seek and find God’s wisdom and boldly face any problem with the confidence that He will see us through it.”

Abigail, The Belle Of Bravery, is described in 1 Samuel 25 as “a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance.” The third Belle in our series, Abigail understood her circumstances and realized what needed to be done. She possessed the good sense and know-how to effectively solve the problem. It’s not enough to be able to size up the situation; she used wisdom and discernment to execute the right plan of action.

Confidence is lacking among girls today. A lot of the time, if they seem like they have it, it’s because they’ve become pretty good at looking like they have it all together. The definition of confidence is “full trust,” not in who you are but in who God is. Abigail trusted, and it was that faith that allowed her to make the right choice for everyone involved.

Prayer. Patience. Bravery.

Somewhere, a girl is discovering the secret to real beauty.

She is learning that she is a real hero too.

She is becoming…a Bible Belle.

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