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Today, we can still follow Deborah’s example. She is the Belle of Leadership because she understood what it meant to be a leader. She understood that it was only through full submission to our good, faithful and all-knowing Father that she might be able to help point her friends and neighbors in the right direction. And isn’t that the point? Isn’t the point to stop depending on ourselves like we know the way and instead point ourselves and our friends to the guy who does?

“A life lived in kindness toward others is part of God’s special purpose for all of us. Self-sacrifice and putting the feelings and needs of others before our own are meaningful ways we can show real love.”

It’s easy to be mean. Well, it was for me. Once I learned that I could come off as strong and independent simply by putting others down, I found creative ways to do it. Sometimes, it was subtle; I walked with my nose in the air and threw snide comments around. Other times, it was direct. Every time, it was harsh, unnecessary, and damaging, to others and to myself. For a while, it was a choice. Then, it became part of a forged identity. Much more than simply a tough habit to break.

Today, true friendship is a rare commodity. It’s not every day that you find someone who is both genuine and kind. Ruth was both.

She is The Belle Of Loyalty, and she represents what true friendship is: a gentle heart that offers help and support when it’s needed. Not because it’s convenient, not because you have something to gain, but because your heart perceives a need and is there to meet it.

That’s what Ruth did. Naomi was her family, and she was faithful in this friendship. “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” (Ruth 1:16).

May the next generation of girls follow her example. May friendship and faith become more than habits. May they be sewn into the very fabric of their identity.

“In life, we face tough times and scary situations. We can’t avoid them, but we can seek and find God’s wisdom and boldly face any problem with the confidence that He will see us through it.”

Abigail, The Belle Of Bravery, is described in 1 Samuel 25 as “a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance.” The third Belle in our series, Abigail understood her circumstances and realized what needed to be done. She possessed the good sense and know-how to effectively solve the problem. It’s not enough to be able to size up the situation; she used wisdom and discernment to execute the right plan of action.

Confidence is lacking among girls today. A lot of the time, if they seem like they have it, it’s because they’ve become pretty good at looking like they have it all together. The definition of confidence is “full trust,” not in who you are but in who God is. Abigail trusted, and it was that faith that allowed her to make the right choice for everyone involved.

Prayer. Patience. Bravery.

Somewhere, a girl is discovering the secret to real beauty.

She is learning that she is a real hero too.

She is becoming…a Bible Belle.

 

Open and honest communication is the hallmark of any solid relationship.

How much (or how little) do you agree with that statement?

For many years, I didn’t understand what community was supposed to be. I grew up with two loving parents and a younger sister who, as far as anyone could tell, had a normal family life. We were involved in activities and sports, events with family and friends. All the regular stuff.

What I realize now about my time as an adolescent and especially throughout my teen years is that healthy communication and honesty were seriously lacking in our house. I’m positive my parents didn’t teach me to think this way, but I grew up believing that if you shared your feelings you were weak. If you got hurt, you sucked it up and carried on and no one wanted to hear about it. You didn’t let anyone ‘in’ to your situation. You made it look real good on the surface and you kept everything hidden because you should be able to deal with everything on your own and with no outside help.

That is what culture tells our girls is normal…and it is right where the enemy wants us.

Isolated. Withdrawn. Bearing the weight of our burdens alone – because when we’re doing that, we are in our own heads, toiling and trying to problem solve on our own, we are missing one of our most important kingdom assignments: COMMUNITY.

God’s design for all of us is that we would be, work, and live together as ONE body. That we would endure and thrive in real community with one another.

As you get to know a little more about me, you’re going to hear about how real connection and being in community with others has been life-changing for me as a woman, wife, mom, entrepreneur and really every other hat God’s asked me to wear.

When we break down the word community (the English teacher in me can’t resist), we get the Latin prefix com which means “together” and the word unity which means “the quality or state of being one”

The root word is communis: common, public, shared by all     

Now, the younger version of me hears the sound of that and is like, how fast can I run away? It was a point of pride for a long time for me to tell people “I’m not a sharer.” But the now me understands the value and the part we all get to play when we enter into a community of people who share a common bond…or belief…or goal.

There’s a beautiful picture of this in the book of Acts. After Jesus’ ascension, Peter addresses a crowd at Pentecost and a bit of time later heals a man who was lame for his entire life. The Sanhedrin don’t like the teaching or the miracle so they arrest Peter and John but they can’t really decide how to punish them so they let them go.

You can find the story in Acts chapter 4, verses 23-34 in a section called The Believers Pray and The Believers Share Their Possessions. Read it here.

What a picture of community that is at total odds with what culture tells our girls.

Culture says hoard the material and hide the mess, but when we do that we totally miss the rich relationships God designed us to enjoy.

Here are three of the most important lessons our girls can learn about building community.

1. Community is a place to HEAL.

Our girls are taught that full and total independence is what defines a strong, successful woman. The perspective of “I know everything. I don’t need anyone’s help. I can do it by myself.” But the truth is that allowing others to share in our grief, fear, anxiety, and worry breaks down the walls of superficiality and creates space for real human connection. In times of trial and suffering that bring tears, there are also sweet moments to laugh and dream together about how God will use this period of struggle to make something new.

1. It is a place to GROW.

“You will either step forward into growth or you will step back into safety.”

Abraham Maslow

The world tells women of all ages that our perspectives are our own and they don’t need to change; people should just learn to deal with it. But, mamas, that is not God’s way.

God wants to put us in situations that will shift, and sometimes radically transform, our perspectives – ones that will change our mindsets from selfishness to sacrifice, from earth to eternity. Community is where God will use other people to change your perspective and, in the process, He will change you.

Your girl will get to see first-hand the growth you experience, and she will use it to set the expectation for how growth happens in her own life.

1. It is a place to SOW.

Community. It’s where we will plant seeds that bear good fruit in generations to come. I believe that none of this means anything if we can’t pass it on to the people who will carry forward our legacies long after we’re gone.

I think about the next generations of girls and what will awaken inside them when we, the grown-up girls of today, give them a model for genuine community and authentic living.

How we live will determine our little girls’ abilities and confidence to rise above a culture that beats them down, that tells them to keep it all hidden, that being vulnerable means you’re pathetic and that sharing means you’re weak.

Community is where we will show the next generation what real life looks like, where they will watch us wait together, cry with, pray with, and encourage each other until Jesus returns and sets everything right.

That’s my prayer for all of us: that we would be Acts 4 women . Women who know the things we have are not our own. Women who share everything we have and raise our daughters to do the same.

When it comes to letting people in, showing your daughter what real community looks like, what’s the biggest challenge you face? Let me know in the comments below.

I’m in your corner. Have an amazing day!

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If you’re looking for support to equip your daughter and develop her character, check out our mentorship series, Nurturing Her Unique Voice. We cover topics like insecurity, overcoming fear, embracing the unexpected, finding rest and so much more . . .

Also, if you’re looking for ways to equip your daughter with the tools she needs to step into her unique leadership role, you’ll definitely want to check out our book series, The Adventures of Rooney Cruz. You can find books, devotionals, activities and more by clicking here.

“We talk to God, and He talks to us. We must listen for Him, wait patiently for His timing, then act when and how He tells us to do so.”

It’s easy to think that we can make the right choices without anyone’s help. I was guilty of thinking like that for a long time, and I still struggle with it. We think we know best, and when we don’t, we try to make it seem like we’ve got things all figured out. As girls, we learn early how to put on this show by pretending to be confident, capable, and strong. Well, enough of that.

That’s why Esther is the next Belle in our series. She’s The Belle Of Patience, the hero who stood up and seized her God-given opportunity. She did this, not in a rush, and not by pretending or thinking she could do it on her own. She allowed God to be her guide, waited patiently, and trusted Him to lead her in His perfect timing.

Esther was bold and courageous only after she properly prepared to step into the role God designed specifically for her. She prayed, she waited, and she listened for His direction and guidance. Then, she was able to discern when the time was right for her to act.

Our prayer is that, like Esther, our girls would wait patiently for God to guide and direct them, that they would listen for His voice, and that they would step into their roles with the same boldness and courage because they have placed their trust in Him.