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Surrender: Letting Go Of The Pressure To Do And Be It All

Beauty is the radiance of truth and the fragrance of goodness.

Vincent McNabb

How often will your daughter set unreasonably high expectations for herself? Whether it's her work or the way she looks, it's likely that she'll put more pressure on herself than anyone else ever could.

Moms, how often do WE stop and think about where our worth as women truly lies or whose definition of success and beauty is the one that actually matters?

If we want to support our girls to know that beauty is a product of living out the truth, we are responsible to help them understand what that means...

... real beauty isn't measured by ever-changing cultural trends. It is not defined by individual expectations.

That’s the first step in helping her release the desire to be something she is not. 

Here are two truths she can cling to when the world tries to convince her otherwise.

1. Her feelings are not facts. 

What we feel often becomes our truth. Whether it's accurate or not, once we get something in our head, sometimes we convince ourselves it's legitimate. It's no different when it comes to feeling beautiful.

She may not wake up every day, look in the mirror and think, "Wow, I look fantastic", and that's totally fine. Beauty and worth are not interchangeable. Looking beautiful is not the same as being valuable. Her physical appearance does not change what she's worth or the difference she was created to make in the world. 

2. She's a masterpiece AND she's under construction. 

For her, believing that God spoke beauty and worth into her existence is easier said than done. At the end of the day, she will still be inundated with messages that attempt to steer her in the opposite direction. Changing her thought processes concerning beauty and worth will take time—and a whole lot of grace.

Some days are going to be easier for her than others. Some mornings she'll wake up and believe what He says about her. But there will also be days when she looks in the mirror and chooses to agree with what the world tells her. There will be highs and lows, but believing she possesses inherent and eternal worth will be a process.

You get to show her that no one is perfect, that you've struggled just as much to have grace for yourself and grace for the process and progress you're making.

Be honest with her, be vulnerable. Allow the truth to wash over you daily. Teach her that real beauty has nothing to do with her mirror and everything to do with her Maker. 

Have an amazing day!

If you’re looking to equip your daughter with the tools and skills she needs to succeed, you’ll want to check out my HEARD book series. It's a five-step approach to personal growth and development that makes it easy for you to guide the conversation about beauty, identity, and purpose with your girl. 

Are you looking to build a network of positive role models around the girls you care about? Listen to my FREE podcast series to learn about real women who are empowering the next generation of girls to serve their unique purpose. Click here to listen. 

2 comments

  • Just want you to know I’m not a mother, but I do have nieces and nephews that I have concern for because of this day and age we live in. I also teach missionettes on Wednesday night’s, first and second grader girls. I would be interested to receive coloring pages or what you would recommend to support the curricula in the missionettes program. In Case you’re not familiar with this program, it’s sponsored by the Assemblies of God ministries. It includes 6 clubs: Rainbows is 3 to 4 years of age, Daisies is kindergarten, Prims is 1st & 2nd graders, Stars is 3rd thru 5th grade, Friends is 6th thru 8th grade, Girls Only is for 9th thru 12th grade. Purpose is to win girls to Jesus Christ through love & acceptance, to teach them to obey everything Jesus commanded us, deveoping girls spiritually and mentally, providing encouragement, support, and accountability through lasting Christian relationships, also providing an environment for girls to develop their gifts and abilities, and to acquaint them with the Great Comission of Jesus Christ our Lord. They earn badges of for each unit, which is under specific categories, Doctrine, Nature, Activity, & Relationships. Thank you for allowing me to comment which actually is a request. Per chance there are other organized groups like Missionettes, I remember being part of Dorcasettes and Pioneer girls when I was little, though I’m not sure if they exist anymore, but anyways, if there is anything you can recommend or help us teachers to supplement these curriculums. I bought the HEARD kit for my niece. My sister (her mother) is ordering from your catalog for a friend of my niece. Please for this girl and my niece, that their hearts will be drawn to Christ. I’m sure you are already praying as we should always pray (2 Thessalonians 5:16-23) and I will also pray for you. I thank God for you for your ministry. KEEP THE FAITH.

    Anna Manea
  • An encouraging message, Erin.

    Vernita Simmons

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